Cloak and Shield by Mark Ayre

Author:Mark Ayre [Ayre, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: AFS Publishing
Published: 2020-08-12T16:00:00+00:00

Sandra snorted. “What a drama Queen. I thought you were sensible.”

Something in Eve’s eyes seemed to frustrate the older woman. She shook her head as though trying to shake her daughter’s stare.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“I’m trying to remember,” Eve said, “If you were always this way.”

“You always hated me,” said Sandra. “Don’t you recall?”

“You’re an idiot,” said Eve. “As well as a bitch.”

Eve and Sandra shared a short temper. Eve saw the jaw working, the hand twitch. How many times had Sandra backhanded her daughter? More often than she had Adam, for sure, though both children had received more than their fair share.

“What do you mean?” Sandra managed, stepping back to reduce the risk of lashing out at her daughter and possibly sealing her fate into the bargain.

“Regardless of the life I’ve had,” said Eve. “No matter when I made my first kill, I was still a little girl once, and I wanted what any little girl wants.”

“And what’s that?”

“A mother who loved me. I used to lie awake at night praying in the morning you’d have changed, that you’d show some sign of care and affection. As I grew, I realised that wasn’t going to happen, so I settled for a mum who would protect me. Who gave up everything to keep my brother and me safe. Often, when there wasn’t a fresh bruise on my cheek, when I wasn’t in tears from your latest verbal assault, I could almost believe that was enough.”

Eve expected a fast retort, either angry or sarcastic. Possibly both. She was shocked when her mother instead bowed her head and looked ashamed. Eve was happy to fight; in the face of her mother’s submission and contrition, she didn’t know what to do.

She pushed on. “What hurts is that, when you died, however much I hated you, I still remembered you as a protector. I loved you for that, even as I hated you for everything else. But when I learn that not only are you not dead, but you’ve spent the last decade-plus not protecting but pursuing us what am I supposed to feel? Should I still love you, because you’re my mother? Because I’m not sure genetics are enough to keep alight the tiny spark of love I had.”

Still, Sandra bowed her head. Eve considered squeezing the force around her throat; making her take notice of her daughter; couldn’t bring herself to do it. Letting out a breath of frustration, she crossed to the door and faced away from her mother. This seemed to give the older woman strength to talk.

“This will be hard for you to believe, but I’m going to say it anyway.”

Eve wanted to turn back but resisted, afraid her mother would clam up if they were eye to eye.

“I came here as a teenager. I thought I needed cash; what I needed was someone to care for and for whom I could care—someone who could cure the crippling loneliness. I refused to see that. When I left the red room, and they told me I wasn’t getting paid, couldn’t leave, I was furious.

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